9:35 p.m. 2/14/2010

Things happened just like they always have a tendancy to do, with me. about 10 days after christmas. freshly a new year 2009 jennifer broke up with me. it turns out she had been scoping this guy whose got some rich folks. it hurt. it hurt alot. but what she didnt know was that i had been trying to get a hold mac, and he wouldnt answer but ever so often his gf Amyrose would answer, and we would talk. and every so often turned into every now and then, then to every other night, then every night. we got pretty close, and i started to build feeling for her. i had met her once before about 5 months earlieri had shaved my head completely bald, and mac talked me into going and hanging out and sleeping over his gf;s house. i was pissed. i was so anti social. but by the end mac went to be and me and amyrose stayed up all night by the bonfire, laughing, dancing, pretending we were the fire gods.

after jennifer broke up with me i was distraught. and i was cold and empty and it got even worse when i texted her 2 days later, and her new boyfriend texted me back. it tore me i was so pissed and stormed out i was yelling. my mom asked what was wrong i told her then i said i need a smoke. she hated my smoking but even she offered to give me money for cigerettes. i had be talking to amyrose about me coming out to visit her and mac. and she suported me telling me jennifer was a dumb ass and i was worth more then anyone could offer. i was looking forward to seeing her. i was looking forward to the bonfire, and how it lit her up like a fire goddess in my memory.